“Peter Roebuck” is almost a household name now in India, thanks to the verbal lashes he gave Australian Cricketer Ricky Ponting. For a couple of days, Roebuck shared Page 1 of most Indian Newspapers along with the likes of the late Benazir Bhutto and other Indian netas. He was referred to as “One of Cricket’s most respected writers” over and over again. “Of course!”, I thought, having remembered “The Peter Roebuck Column” from the sports section of the Hindu, a series of articles that were published a few years back. I found his thought process wonderful, the usage of language fantastic and his general sense of the game immaculate.  Curious to know more about him and read what he’s written, I wiki’ed him.

“As Peter Roebuck is not your average cricket writer, it would only make sense that his website was also something out of the ordinary. May you enjoy all it has to offer!” roared his website – www.peterroebuck.com. “This guy has reason to boast”, I thought. Then I came across this article titled “Ponting graduates to top of the class”.

The article has been written by “Callum Twomey” on 02/01/2008. However, I find it difficult to accept that Peter Roebuck would allow someone with a view so different from his to publish it on his website, right under his nose!

As I speak, Roger Federer is trouncing Davydenko. Watching anybody play with Federer (except when he has clay under his feet and his opponents name spells N-A-D-A-L) is like watching a high school kid enter the ropes to fight a Muhhamad Ali. There is zero hope and Federer kills the very definition of sport : uncertainity.

I’ve often wondered if this man has a limit. What I’ve realised is that even if there was one, it is meaningless. There would be no reference points. So if we see it, we wouldn’t know it. Or rather, we wouldn’t believe it. Every time the opponent raises the bar, Federer goes higher with efforless ease. In my view, he will win every game sans the inevitable one : time.

A cynical thought – not a good one for Federer’s fans – How would it be if Federer retired now? Blaming the lack of competition? Would that deify him? Would he not become a saint? a religion? Arrrrgh – if only HE didn’t invent clay!

First day of placements..

Need I say more? 

One of the most amusing, entertaining and controversial weekends in F1 winded up with Fernando Alonso climbing up the red carpet to receive his trophy from Prince Albert II. Montoya ensured that McLaren would have reason to party at Monaco tonight. David Coulthard, that old war horse climbed the podium to take third, dressed in superman costume. Kimi Raikkonen blew up his engine following a safety car incident. Never mind, he would walk up, strip down and hit the yacht’s in true Monaco style.
But..

Our hero of the day is one Mr. Michael Schumacher, who after having started last at Monaco rocketed his way past what were supposedly F1 cars to come fifth. If you call him a SATAN for his sportsmanship (Adelaide 1994, Jerez 1997, Austria 2002…the list continues), then call him GOD for the racing prowess he displays (I can’t count those, can I?) He moved up sixteen places to come in fifth.

But offtrack, I loved what Sir Jackie had to say about Schu’s misdemeanors.

“When I saw that, I said ‘that wasn’t an accident’.

“I have never seen anything like it before. I have never seen anyone have the presence of mind to do it.”

“It might have been different if he had taken off the front wing.”

On the teams :

Renault

Double Whammy for Fernando Alonso. Are we talking about the races (Catalunya and Monaco), or are we talking World Championships? He’s still 24. Enough said! As for Renault, they won the Best Team of the Year award in Spain last weekend, so this is indeed a triple delight for the team. Fisi could have done better, but he atleast landed in the points, and that’s that.

Ferrari

Michael was surely the ‘man of the race’ in my opinion. He took out four cars in the first three corners, and made neat work of Button at the Noveau chicane in the first half of the race. He’s still obviously the finest, and it might have been a fine battle between Alonso and Schumacher had the latter not engaged in that godforsaken move. I feel angry because I was deprived of a Michael classic. Massa continues to impress and I believe that the Brazilian might have landed a podium had he not started dead last. But ofcourse, it was he who crashed into the barriers yesterday, isn’t it?

McLaren

Montoya came in second, but that isn’t the main story. Kimi Raikkonen drove what was perhaps his best race. To follow a high downforce Renault for close to fifty laps at half a second’s distance was absolutely stunning. How could he handle such air turbulence, yet remain focussed on Alonso’s exhaust pipe? It was clear that Raikkonen’s engine blew up because he couldn’t control the revs when the safety car came out. That’s how fragile F1 engines are.

Red Bull

David Coulthard, Superman #1 came in third. Superman #2 couldn’t do much, not without his car which failed to shift into gear. A great performance, certainly a lot better compared to last year when both drivers crashed out, and the Star Wars Pit Crew were wasted in the paddocks.

Honda

Rubens was a delight, he drove ever so well, and in the end did just about enough to keep his ex-team mate at bay. For poor old Jensie, he must have concentrated on something called ‘the race’ rather than give interviews to Star Sports.

BMW

A great race for quick Nick, but I would prefer to see him on the podium rather than just in the points. Jacques Villeneuve – I love him. Not for his racing (which I think has been poor for the past 9 years), but for being the most vocal driver yesterday (You know what I am talking!)

Toyota

Ralfie. Must have been on the lookout for his brother, after what happened last year at Monaco. He managed to salvage one point for the toyota team while the mobile chicane was out of action with hydraulic failures. Maybe Toyota spends more money on organizing F1 parties at Monaco than it does to develop cars?

Williams

Sad one for young Nico, he really ought to have finished the race. Mark, after qualifying second could do nothing but watch on while his exhaust exploded. Poor him, he would have landed a much needed podium for Sir Frank. Maybe Sir Frank must look for better engines to put under his wheelchair.

That’s it for now!

Schumachers time has been thrown out officially after the stewards came to the sane conclusion that we fans came to soon after the qualifying session where Schu conveniently parked his car at the La Racasse corner after having set the fastest time.

Schumacher locked up his brakes, but ensured that he released it early enough, then seemed to turn, but straightened out immediately, rolling his 248F1 to a stop. Some say that it was an executive decision that was communicated to him, but I believe that it was not, and it was Schumacher who took the call, since he very well knew that Alonso was just out of sector 1.

Apart from having deprived Alonso of a fast lap, this incident also meant that many drivers including Webber and Fisichella lost potential positions on the grid. So it was only fair that Schumacher be penalised for this, and he would now join his team mate Massa in an all-red back row.

“The driver deliberately stopped his car on the circuit in the last few minutes of qualifying at a time at which he had thus far set the fastest lap time “ they said.

“Having compared all relevant data the stewards can find no justifiable reason for the driver to have braked with such undue, excessive and unusual pressure at this part of the circuit,” they wrote, “and are left with no alternative but to conclude that the driver deliberately stopped his car on the circuit.”

And I would doubly believe in the ‘macher’s evil intentions considering Ferrari’s and Schumacher’s own reputations when it comes to issues like this one. The incident also shows that the stewards have finally returned to their senses. Winning is one thing, but trying to win at all costs is something that cannot be tolerated.

Following the incident, there have been reports that Schumacher might be asked to resign fromthe post of board of director of the Grand Prix Driver’s Association.

I have to add what David Coulthard once said, “Opinions are like assholes and everybody has one.”

For more F1 news and related discussions, go here.

“I’m an artist, the track is my canvas, and the car is my brush.”

These immortal words of Graham Hill capture the crux of today’s race where Michael the magnificient raced his cavallino rampante past the chequered flag in a race that was as much a joust between Ross Brawn and Pat Symonds as it was between the two title protagonists, Michael and Alonso. An impeccable display of speed and control by Felipe Massa ensured that it would be a Scuderia sandwich with Renault Stuffing. It is now crystal clear that Ferrari’s dazzling performance at Imola (their home race) was not a ‘flash-in-the-pan’ as many had predicted. A perfect homecoming for Michael and a double delight for the Tifosi, considering that Nurburgring is a Michelin-friendly track.

Qualifying saw Alonso take pole position for the first time this year, but he would have hardly celebrated, considering that Michael Schumacher would share row one with him. Michael’s newfound minion, Massa would start on P3, along side Rubens Barrichello who for the first time this season, has outqualified his more illustrious(laughs) team mate, Jensen (wrong) Button. The McLaren’s had a tame qualifying session with Raikkonen starting fifth and Montoya starting a couple of rows behind him. The McLaren’s were obviously heavier as usual, but would Ron Dennis’s crew be able to leverage speed with strategy? As the onlooker settled for a nice cool afternoon atop the Hill, a storm was brewing in the paddocks, for it would as much be a battle of brains as of sheer driver brilliance, Nurburgring being one of those tracks with very few opportunities to pass.

The legendary Renault acceleration was evident at the very start and Fernando Alonso raced off into the Castrol-S curve, closely followed by Michael, Massa and Button. That said, we were in for a two-hour long, multi-billion dollar car parade at the Nurburgring. Tracks such as this put the onus on ace-strategists such as Ross Brawn and Pat Symonds who wage the battles from the pit-walls, their minds cranking out possible pit-strategies and reading the opposition’s moves so carefully. But today would be one of those Michael-Todt-Brawn day’s where the trio would so thoroughly root out competition by operating as a single, well-oiled machine.

After lap one, Alonso led by half a second, with Button, Rosberg and Sato having moved up rapidly. A first corner between Liuzzi and Coulthard would mean that the Scot’s race was over. Liuzzi suffered a punctured tyre, his machine stranded on the track. A brief interruption by the maylander ensued.

In the meanwhile, several minor battles started, with Raikkonen trying to gun down an elusive Button and Montoya passing Fisichella. Alonso and Schumacher then started to get ahead of the pack, trading fastest laps between them. Webber then went wide, his hydraulics having gone for a toss.

On Lap 17, Alonso and Massa pitted, rejoining fourth and sixth respectively. Michael pitted the next time around, emerging behind his Spanish rival, in fifth position. Raikkonen then led the race, cranking out fast laps. He pitted on lap 23, knowing very well that the fourteen seconds he had buffered up would not be enough to surge ahead of Alonso and Michael. He rejoined in fourth.
The first set of pit-stops also saw Fissichella regaining the position he lost to Montoya.

As luck would have had it, it was Villeneuve tailing Fiscio, and all eyes were on this pair, considering that Fiscio had complained to the stewards that Jacques had blocked him during qualifying. A verbal battle that had started yesterday at the BMW garage had manifested itself into an all-out war on the track. In the meanwhile, Button lost his engine, Klein his gearbox and Montagny, the F1 debutante, his hydraulics. For the lead pair, they were obviously so oblivious of what ever else was happening on the track.

Come lap 38, and Alonso pitted, the first one of the front runners to do so. Michael Schumacher, taking advantage of the empty track, unleashed two brilliant laps, clocking an amazing 1:32:099 the second time around. A lap later, he was leading Alonso by 25.5 seconds.

At the end of lap 41, Michael pitted. As the crowd, Ross Brawn and Jean Todt (with a stop clock in his hand) watched on, the Ferrari pit-crew bolted on fresh Bridgestones and splashed in fuel, taking just 6.8 seconds to complete the procedure. A few seconds later, Michael emerged to an empty piece of track, with air-horns blaring as loudly as Michael’s Ferrari engine. The Champion and his strategist had proved why they were still one of the very best in the business.

Raikkonen pitted on lap 44, the Finn knowing very well that a podium grab was in the offing. However, a determined Massa would hold forte until the very end. Takuma Sato retired on Lap 46, with yet another Aguri hydraulics failure. A couple of laps later, Montoya and Ralf retire with blown engines. Clearly, a dissapointing day for the Toyota’s. But retirements meant that Villeneuve would land up in the points, unlike his German team mate Nick Heidfeld.

A jubliant Michael Schumacher took the chequered flag, slowing down to a saunter soon after, saluting his crew-men who made his victory possible. Alonso appeared gloomy, for he sensed the imminent Ferrari danger. For Felipe, it was a dream weekend, the Brazilian taking his first ever podium.

Among the better drivers of the day were Brazilian Rubens Barichello who finally seems to have found his groove with the Grove-car. Rosberg, who started absolute last after completing an engine change drove brilliantly, garnering a couple of points on the way. The old wily fox, Jacques Villeneuve took the last point, his weekend being a tumultous one. Montoya, Button and Webber would find it hard to hide their dissapointment, for their machines and not they were at fault.

All said and done, the 248 F1 seems to have improved by leaps and bounds since Bahrain, and is probably the only other package that can challenge the might of the Renault’s in the near future. Though Alonso leads by a 13-point margin, he would be ever so careful, for he is up against one of the most fantastic drivers on the planet.

Looking forward to Catalunya where the Rosso Corsa would attempt to ride the Spanish bull on its home turf.

When Michael Schumacher crossed the unblemished chequered flag at Imola, the sanctum sanctorum of Ferrari, it was celebration time for the omnipresent Tifosi. But for Michael himself, the question of retirement must have loomed larger than the victory itself.

As the Seven-time World Champion ponders over signing a two-year contract with Ferrari, a team he so successfully built around himself, motorsport comes to a standstill. Will HE? or Wont HE? they wonder..

As one reflects, the words of Zinidine Zidane, perhaps the greatest mid-fielder of modern day Football come to mind. He said “I don’t think I can improve on anything I’ve done. Hence, I’ve decided to retire”. And that to him was the deciding factor.

Talking of Michael’s achievements, he holds every conceivable record in F1.

• Most number of World Championships (Seven)
• Most number of race wins (Eighty-six)
• Most consequtive race wins (Seven)
• Most race wins in a season (Thirteen of Eighteen)
• Most fastest laps in a season (Ten of Eighteen)
• Most podium finishes in a season (Seventeen of Seventeen)
• Most Championship points in a season (148 out of a possible 180)
• Most number of pole positions (Sixty-six from two-thirty-six races)

and the list continues…

Talking of the intangibles, one can’t forget the slight German who first forayed into F1 in a Jordan car on a cold morning in Belgium, after having promised Eddie Jordan that he knew the Spa track, complete with its notorious Eau Rouge curve, like the back of his hand. In reality, Michael had only been around the track once, and that too on a borrowed bicycle. Michael went on to qualify seventh, shocking the greats, and was signed on by Flavio Briatore for as early as the next race. The rest, as they say, is history.

Buried in the brains are images of a jubliant Schumacher holding the trophy high for the first time at Spa in 1992, and of the emergance of a new King at Australia in 1994. The epic battles with Hakkinen reminded us so much of the Prost-Senna jousts, and will go down in history as one of the greatest. And ofcourse, there were black moments, like the ‘95 Hill controversy, where Schumacher allegedly pushed Hill off the track to take the championship, the Austria 2002 debacle where Barrichello was forced to let Schumacher win the race, and the disqualification from the World Championship after Schumacher attempted to push Villeneuve off the track at the season finale.

Going back to Zidane’s ideology,

Talking about it, Schumacher’s decline in form might be attributed more to Ferrari’s failure to deliver a winning machine than to Schumacher himself. No matter how great the driver, he can only be as good as his machine allows him to be. One could simply put down the argument that we could never know if Schumacher is still as good as he was a couple of years back until Ferrari delivers a powerful machine. On the other hand, we did witness races like Imola 2005, where a ressurgent Schumacher chased Alonso all the way to the chequered flag. Some call it one of his greatest drives, considering his limited resources. But perhaps there is another story. The Schumacher of the young would have spotted those milli-meter wide gaps that Alonso left as he snaked around Imola. The chase would have been won, as it had been won on numerous occasions in the late 1990’s with Hakkinen, simply by taking that extra bit of risk. Perhaps the slowdown has started…

Now the logical bifurcation in the road has come, and Schumacher would have to decide. Ferrari President Luca di Montezemolo has hinted that he would not be interested in anything lesser than a two year commitment. The ball is in Michael’s court now.

Michael, being himself, could go for the gamble and challenge the new order, thereby improving what he has done before. Afterall, how can one forget Nigel Mansell’s emotional World Championship in 1992, aged 39? But ofcourse, one has to remember that Mansell had no world championships before 1992, and hence had nothing to lose and everything to gain. But for Schumacher, the situation is quit the opposite.

Apologies (to the few who read my F1 reviews) for the late post…

Ayrton Senna.

This might sound like the incessant jabber of a mad Senna fan, but guess it all has relevance. Ayrton Senna, over a decade ago, set the record for pole positions at 65 from 161 races. This weekend, almost eleven years since the great racer passed away, Schumacher, widely considered Senna’s successor, broke that record, getting his 66th pole in his 236th race. It is indeed ironic that the German great should take his 66th pole on the very track where Ayrton took his last pole position, the very track where he lost his life so tragically.

Long live Ayrton the amazing.

The Grid:

Michael the Magnificient, Jensen the Joker, Barrichello the Bewildered, Felipe the fu*ked, Fernando the Formidable, Ralf the baffled, Kimi the Killer and Montoya the marauding. As for the rest, I’ll mention them as and when the tickle the clocks.

Come raceday, it would be interesting to watch a couple of drivers. First up, can Jensen Button come of age, winning his first GP? Unlikely, considering that a hundred thousand and one tifosi would be out to get his a*s, the last one being Michael Schumacher. And ofcourse, lets not mention the Bridgestone tyres and their inability to retain heat.

Felipe. With qualifying, it was pretty evident that Felipe had been reinstated as the resident scape-goat at Maranello. Felipe’s got big challenges. He isn’t very good at car-control which means that the Villeneuve-Tamburello complexes are going to have fun with him. And Felipe has also got to keep Renault (a.k.a Alonso) in check, thus helping Michael take his eighty-fifth career win. Maybe he needs to learn the ‘Make Mike win’ tips from Mr.Barrichello.

The McLarens clearly haven’t shown the pace that they did in 2005 at this point in the season, but one cannot write them off. Toyota seem to be improving by the hour, and with two people within the top ten, they look good to challenge the McLarens. Williams have Webber at P10, but will the Cosworth stay-put all race long? Only time will tell.

Schumacher, as expected, got off to a clean start and so did Jensen Button. However, Barrichello could not hold on to his position, and Massa and Alonso shot past him. However, the race was stopped after Yuji Ide nudged Albers, making him barrel into the gravel. Perhaps Ide’s last race, considering that Montagny has been signed on as Super Aguri’s third driver.

A couple of safety laps ensued, followed by another incident. The usually sobre Trulli had hit Liuzzi. It later became evident that Trulli’s Toyota had steering problems. Liuzzi continued on inspite of being hit, but Trulli retired shortly after.

The first set of splash ‘n’ dash affairs ensued, with Barrichello and Button pitting on laps 11 and 12. Clearly, the Honda’s have been sand-bagging, running on much lighter fuel-loads compared to the Renault’s and the Ferrari’s.

Michael set some scorching laps before plunging into the pits on lap 20. It was then Alonso’s turn to capitalize on the empty tarmac before him, as he set the tracks ablaze before pitting eventually on lap 25.

Come lap 27, it appeared that Schumacher and Massa were both facing tyre problems. For Schumacher, that meant that Alonso would soon be hounding him.

On Lap 30, there was some action in the pits as lollipop man Alistair Gibson gave Button the all-clear way too early. The Brit pulled off the pits with the fuel-rig still attached to his machine. Clearly, bad luck for Jensie, but too bad, he’s now got a reason for race number 105 (or 106, who cares) without a win.

It was now a race to the finish with Alonso chasing Michael in much the same way that the German did a year back at the same venue. Alonso pitted on lap 42 and Michael on lap 43. From then on, the two cars ran as one, as spectators could not differentiate the red blur from the blue-yellow one.

The final few laps saw Alonso back off, as the wise Spaniard noticed brake-dust coming off his rear wheels. The Renault has always been a bit harsh on its rear-tyres, and Imola being the ‘brake-buster’ track, wasn’t going to make things easier.

With the Tifosi blowing their trumpets, a jubliant Schumacher cleared the chequred flag, punching the air with the same enthusiasm as he did fourteen seasons ago. Surely, Michael isn’t going to retire this season?
As for the others, they hardly need a mantion. Montoya, to my utter amazement, was third, and Massa drove well to come in fourth. Raikkonen, Webber, Button and Fissichella were the others to tickle the scoreboard.

The next three races are way too close for comfort, and one should lookout for Team Maranello(a.k.a Schumacher) and Team Woking(a.k.a Raikkonen) to come out in full force and challenge Alonso.
Going by the statisitcs, my bet is still on Alonso, but Schumacher being Schumacher may still rattle the young Spaniard.

Over to the European Grand Prix at Nurburgring.

Snapshot of Nurburgring 2005.

In a race where the safety car completed more laps than some regular drivers did, Alonso kept his nerve to come home first, and the man who can keep Alonso at bay, Kimi Raikkonen, bounced back after a dissapointing show at Sepang to come in second. Schumacher (Ralf, for a change) came in third, followed by quick Nick. Fisichella, whose weekend in Australia was nothing like the one he had at this venue last year came in fifth, with Villeneuve coming in sixth to give BMW valuable points for the Constructor’s championships. Barrichello was lucky to come seventh despite his dismal driving, and Coulthard took eighth, after a 25-second penalty was imposed post race on Scott Speed for ignoring the yellow flags. Overall, an incident filled race, thanks to the track that was as slippery as an eel.

To talk the race driver by driver, Alonso was clearly a class apart.He showed that the Renault’s package was still leagues ahead of the rest. His race pace was amazing, infact amazing enough to keep the freakishly fast Finn at bay. In their battle, Alonso and Raikkonen posted 31 of the 33 fastest laps, each trying to gun down the other, oblivious of the ‘traffic’ on the circuit. Their respective partners did not have a good day, with Juan Pablo Montoya being silly enough to spin his car on the parading lap (yes, parading lap!), and Fisichella stalling his car after the first parading lap. Montoya then did what he does best, which is disobeying the flags. He overtook Button on the yellows, and perhaps would have got the same penalty as Speed had it not been for the last-corner goofup. Montoya alleged that the car had shut itself down!

Button the talkative, who was looking to win his maiden grand prix from the third pole position of his career had a bad sunday. Despite fending off super-starter Alonso on lap 1, he couldn’t hold on to the lead after the safety car pulled off the first time around. Clearly, the Honda’s tyres were at fault, for it looked like Alonso overtook a near-stationery and cold Button. A re-enactment took place a couple of laps later, only this time it was Raikkonen who overtook Button for second spot. A spectacular blow-up of his engine just meters before the finish line meant that he would finish tenth instead of fifth. And a blown engine would also mean that the best he could qualify at Imola would be eleveth. The other Honda driver Barrichello still could not find his groove with Honda, and after an amazingly poor qualifying managed to tumble into seventh, after a record number of drivers pulled out owing to a myriad of reasons. Clearly, Barrichello does not have the pace, and he would be in big trouble if he can’t fit himself into the Brackley-made car soon enough.

Schumacher had an anonymous race until lap 25, after which, for a brief period of time he did show us why he was considered one of the best drivers ever to grace a formula one cockpit. But as luck would have had it, the German pushed his machine a bit too far, running wide into the last corner, and ending up in the barriers. With Schumacher displaying such driving prowess, and Todt promising a whole new package for Imola, I still wouldn’t count Ferrari out of plucking a race or two from the Renault’s and the McLaren’s.

Toyota did reasonably well, and something that’s a lot closer to the budget they are spending. Ralf came in third, inspite of having done nothing dramatic. Trulli didn’t even have a race, after he, Rosberg and Massa came together on lap 1.

BMW had a field day, with both their drivers landing in the points. Mario’s blue-eyed boy, Nick, came in fourth, and Villeneuve, who started ninteenth, thanks to the silly engine rule, came in sixth, proving that he still had it in him to race. A good show by the French-Canadian, and I hope he can carry this form into the European leg.

As for Redbull, Coulthard gained the solitary point despite driving poorly, thanks to an aggressive Scott Speed who incurred a 25-second penalty because of disobeying the flags. Klein, on the other hand, made a silly error very early in the race, braking too hard on a bump and ending up in the barriers, strewing enough debris on the track to bring out the safety car.

The Super Aguri team continues to impress, with Sato coming in twelveth. Though only Ide was behind him, Sato did show us how fast he really could be. After running well, he left some of the more experienced and respectable drivers in his dirt-trail. Surely, Sato might spring some surprises with the SA06, due to be released mid-season.

The Toro Rosso did impress too, for otherwise the Taxi team (read: Midland) wouldn’t cry foul and ask for the Masechitz’s B-team to be excluded from the WCC points ratings. The junior Red Bulls are indeed trying to match their elder brothers.

Overall, an incident filled race, one where Alonso stamped his authority yet again, proving to the crowds that Renault was still the best team and he was still the driver to beat.

A 3-week hiatus, as the Formula One juggernaut rolls on to more the traditional pastures of Europe. Come Imola, and I would forever be reminded of the man who continues to rule the hearts of F1 fans all over the world, twelve years after his death at this very track. Long live Ayrton Senna da Silva.

I yearn that Imola 2006 would be as interesting as the 2005 edition, where a ressurgent Michael Schumacher chased the crown Prince Alonso to the very finish. I would expect a strong performance from Ferrari, who should, hopefully, mount a challenge to the supremacy of the Renault’s and the McLaren’s.

The Tifosi shall holler at Imola!